The end of a marriage is always difficult, regardless of whether it is a mutual decision to divorce, one that you have made for yourself and your family, or one that has been thrust upon you, with or without advance warning. In any scenario, divorcing will be emotionally taxing and stressful.  You may be filled with fear and anxiety.  Uncertainty is often a major factor in those feelings – uncertainty about how or where to begin, uncertainty about the process, uncertainty about your future and what your life will look like in the end.  No matter your circumstances, whether it is amicable, extremely contentious, or somewhere in between, divorce will have a significant financial impact on your life, both during the divorce process, and in the end.  If you are contemplating obtaining a divorce, or believe that divorce may be imminent, it is important to prepare in advance, if possible.  The emotional toll that divorcing will have on you can cloud your thinking and judgment, and prevent you from acting rationally and strategically.

Divorce is not one-size-fits-all. Every divorce is different, and the process unique to every divorcing couple.  Advice from divorced (or divorcing) friends may feel comforting to you, as may reading stories online about other divorces.  However, those divorces will not be your divorce.  Their facts are not your facts.  Quite likely, their judge will not be your judge. The first thing to do in preparing for your divorce is to consult with an experienced, skilled family law lawyer. At Maples | Jones, PLLC. Our experienced family law attorneys will be able to educate you on what to do before you file for divorce, help you understand the divorce process itself, and educate you on what you should expect.  In no particular order of importance, additional things to consider when preparing for your divorce are as follows:

Financial Planning

What do you know about your financial situation?  Do you and your spouse have joint bank accounts, or are your all in your spouse’s name? Do you have access to financial resources? What are your monthly expenses and income? These are some of the financial questions that you should ask yourself before filing for divorce. Understand that you will likely need to be able to support yourself financially for a minimum of 60-90 days once a divorce is filed, as it is not uncommon for it to take time to get into court for temporary orders or negotiate an agreement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse for temporary financial support.  If you do not have access to resources to support yourself, whether joint financial accounts or sufficient income from employment, it is important that you have adequate funds saved to get you through until temporary orders can be obtained.

If you do not have a credit card exclusively in your name, you may want to apply for one before you file for divorce.  If for any reason you don’t have access to liquid assets, you will be able to use credit.  A credit card exclusively in your name also cannot be cancelled by your spouse, and allows you to start building your credit.

Obtain/Gather Financial Records

Start collecting and organizing financial records. Not only will this help to educate you on your financial circumstances, but it will also help to educate your divorce attorney.  Examples of financial records to obtain that will be helpful in preparing for your divorce are as follows:

• Tax returns (personal and business)
• Current homeowners insurance policies, including riders and/or schedules
• Current automobile insurance policies
• Deeds to property purchased and sold during the marriage
• Closing documents from the sale and purchase of property during the marriage
• Current mortgage statements
• Investment/brokerage account statements
• Retirement account statements
• Stock options/restrict stock units documents (statements, vesting schedules)
• Current loan statements, including vehicle loans
• Credit card statements
• Recent paystubs
• Current credit report
• Trust agreements
• Premarital and/or postmarital agreements
• Business documents, including certificates of formation, company agreements, partnership agreements, shareholder agreements, and any amendments, organizational documents, and financial records, including profit & loss statements, general ledgers, and other such records.

If you do not have access to certain records, your divorce lawyer will be able to request documents from your spouse during the divorce process.  However, the more information that you have in advance of filing, the better off you will be.  In addition, make a list of the assets that you believe you and your spouse own.  This will help you to remember which documents to gather and will also help your divorce lawyer when it comes time for him/her to seek information and documents from your spouse.

It may also be helpful to video inventory the entirety of your home and its contents.  You may be the spouse moving out of the marital residence while your divorce is pending.  In that case, it is unlikely that you will move every single item out that you want to keep in the end.  Having a video inventory to review later will help you and your attorney to make a list of the items that you want from the residence in the end.  Without this inventory, you may forget that your grandmother’s silver is in the back of your dining room buffet.  On that note, it is important when taking your video inventory to open and film all cabinets, drawers, closets, garage, attic, storage shed, etc.

Living Arrangements

Even the most agreeable couple in an amicable, uncontested divorce runs into difficulties when trying to live under the same roof during a divorce.  As information is requested and exchanged between you and your spouse, and negotiations are occurring, emotions become heightened, as do tensions.  The situation becomes exponentially more difficult when the divorce is contested, and untenable if a trial is on the horizon.  If there are children involved, they are often caught in the middle, either witnessing you and your spouse argue, or simply feeling the tension in the air. Physically separating and maintaining different households is advisable in almost all divorce cases.

 Protect Your Personal Information

Spouses often share family devices and/or login credentials.  Before you file for divorce, it is a good idea to create a new email address.  When doing so, use login credentials that are completely different from any other username and/or password that you have used during your marriage, and do not use credentials which could be easily guessed by your spouse, such as your child’s birthday or your high school mascot.  Use this new email for communications that you wish to keep confidential, especially communications with your divorce lawyer.

You should also change any passwords to your individual online accounts (including social media) that your spouse may know or be likely to guess. Do not, however, change login credentials to your spouse’s individual accounts, nor joint accounts could result in your spouse being denied access.

Disconnect your personal devices from devices which may be shared with your spouse and/or your children.  For example, your child(ren)’s iPad may be connected to your cell phone account and text messages that you receive could populate on that iPad.  Check your accounts and disconnect your devices as may be necessary to ensure your privacy.  Lot out of your email account(s) from all shared devices, such as a household computer, change your login credentials, and do not allow shared devices to “remember” your new credentials.

What about the Kids

As you are preparing for your divorce, your children will be a top priority, as they should.  How you and your spouse make decisions about your children both during and after divorce will need to be considered.  You will also need to think about what time with your children will look like for you and your spouse, both during and after divorce.   These decisions will ultimately be made during your divorce, but as you prepare, start thinking about these things.  Have my spouse and I been able to make decisions about our kids without conflict?  If so, it’s likely that you will continue to be able to do so, often even in a contentious divorce.  Or, has there been a history or pattern of conflict around important decisions?  Your divorce lawyer will need these things.  Where will the children go to school? If you and your spouse continue to reside within the same area, this may not be an issue.  But what if one of you moves – where will the children go to school then?  Private vs. public school may be an issue in your divorce.  If the children have been attending private school, will there be sufficient resources during and/or after the divorce for that to continue, and how will those expenses be paid? Be thinking about holidays, extended summer possession to allow for vacations, summer camps, and after-school activities. Having thought about these things in advance will be helpful to you and your divorce lawyer as you navigate the divorce and all of the decisions that will need to be made for your children.

Emotional Support

Divorce is the death of a relationship.  Divorce is about loss – loss of finances, loss of stability, loss of control.  Divorce is traumatic.  Whether you and your spouse have agreed to amicably divorce or you are in a highly contentious divorce with a difficult spouse, a few of the common feelings you may experience are sadness, anger, grief, and possibly denial and/or bargaining.  First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself.  As they say, put on your oxygen mask first.  Having a strong support system of friends and family can help, as may engaging the services of a licensed therapist.  And don’t forget about self-care.  Engaging in your favorite hobbies, exercising, and things of that nature can help to ground you in what will be a difficult process.

It is also important to have a strong, skilled and compassionate legal team on your side, to help you navigate the divorce process and to give you the best opportunity to achieve your desired outcome. Maples | Jones, PLLC is a boutique law firm in Austin, Texas, serving Travis County, Hays County, Williamson County, and other counties in Central Texas.  Our lawyers will listen to your fears and concerns with empathy and compassion.  Our lawyers will also discuss and weigh your options with you, advise you on your options, and support you in the decisions that you ultimately make after having been informed. Contact us today for more information as you prepare for your divorce.  Entrust your future, and the future of your children, to the experienced and skilled divorce lawyers at Maples | Jones, PLLC.

DISCLOSURE: This blog is being provided for informational purposes only.  The preceding information should not be construed as tax, financial or legal advice.

Written By: Chris Boman